Three themes were identified in response to the research question how a self-reported degree of faith or spirituality may contribute to better coping in the face of stressful living and working environments in conflict or disaster-affected areas. To understand the phenomenon of faith-based and spiritual coping in aid work, the first theme outlines the overall context of working in the aid world: a demanding environment that requires non-stop full capacity of its workers (The context: The aid ‘world’). The second theme outlines the primary outcome, benefits and gains, of faith-based and spiritual practices, and the underlying supportive processes reflected in respecting one’s values and needs (‘Filling one’s own cup’). The third theme outlines secondary, negative implications of such practices that might threaten one’s balance (When the cup has a crack).
Theme—The context: the aid ‘world’
This theme provides a frame of reference for the experience of participants. It highlights in three subthemes their faith-based or spiritual motivations to enter the profession, its demands, dangers, and psychological impact, as well as the culture of aid work.
Subtheme: motivation and expectations
For many participants from different faiths, a main motivation lay in the desire to reach “those who are underserved…. I would say yes, my faith plays a big part in that” (participant 14). Participant 12 saw aid workers motivated “by something bigger than themselves”. Participants wanted to “serve humanity” (participant 11) and “be a part of a solution” (participant 7) presented by aid work.
“You have to do right and you have to protect people from being harmed …. when I stand (before) God… I will not be asked: ‘You had the chance … to help somebody in this situation, why didn’t you do it?’” (participant 9)
Some participants experienced a parallel between faith and the fight against injustice and poverty with “a realisation that goes along with faith: … before my life is over I really need to try and reduce that extreme poverty” (participant 5). Many participants spoke of the love they felt for and from God or a Higher Power, of being an “instrument” thereof through their work (participant 2) and of “extending love from that” (participant 4). They acknowledged that they “have a responsibility to act lovingly” and did so empathically (participant 12) in the context of their aid work.
Subtheme: demands, dangers, and impact
Working in aid, particularly in humanitarian aid, participant 4 noted that “the expectations are so high… everything is an emergency…there is no such thing as personal time”, and subsequently, there was not much time for reflection. Statements about “crazy hours … crazy living conditions, …crazy risk disaster environment” (participant 5) summarized the demands. Aid workers were expected to react with flexibility, versatility, and inventiveness in all situations: An immediate travel request for an emergency response operation was answered with “‘no problem’ and I basically packed my bag. The next morning, I was on a plane” (participant 11). “There were no security plans for things like … if we were attacked, so all of us … were constantly trying to come up with our own plans” (participant 6). While being faced with a “pile of dead bodies” (participant 5), refugees and internally displaced persons’ dire living conditions (participant 1), suicide attacks on project sites and accommodation (participants 6 and 12), threats of kidnapping and sexual assaults (several participants), aid workers were exposed to both direct and secondary trauma. Participant 7 noted after a traffic accident “mobs will just hack you, and we saw a number of people killed that way”. Under such conditions, aid workers were left “burnt out” (participant 3), drained of “not only physical energy but emotional and spiritual” (participant 14) and subject to “anxiety” (several participants), unprocessed grief and trauma, and the isolation of having to “manage it alone” (participant 2). After many humanitarian emergency missions without the space to reflect and release emotions or recharge spiritually (participant 14), participant 5 claimed “there’s a bit of me that’s dead”, one potential response to secondary trauma.
Subtheme: the culture of aid
Aid workers had a reputation of being courageous and efficient, “they go in, they stitch people up, they deal with any …emergency” (participant 11). They were known to successfully accomplish their “fast-paced work where decisions need to be made very fast” (participant 2). Part of the culture also was the never-ending nature of work and how “people become workaholics because you have to give your life to it, almost” (participant 4). Several aid workers spoke of the ‘cowboy’ or ‘cowgirl’ image of aid workers who were
“not afraid of going…into the warzone… we’re tough… Everyone was burnt out and everyone had secondary trauma and yet no one would admit it… we just had no option… there was …no way to talk about it in our office, for we were just … berated for being weak … and that we just needed to get the job done” (participant 3)
Participants experienced the culture as one of bravery but also stigma where coping through potentially self-destructive behaviours seemed more accessible than sharing psychological struggles or how they coped better thanks to their faith or spirituality (participant 4). Participant 6 and others observed potentially adverse coping mechanisms such as “alcoholism, …drugs,…indiscriminate sex…a wild lifestyle that accompany aid work especially in conflict countries because that’s the way that people choose to deal with their stress”.
Theme—The primary outcome: ‘filling one’s own cup’
A crucial thread seemed to be expressed in the theme of ‘filling one’s own cup’: “You really have to realise I need to fill myself up so I can give to others” (participant 14). Two subthemes with four components each denote (a) what a ‘full cup’ meant to them and (b) what mechanisms were used to fill the cup, i.e. what aspects of their faith-based or spiritual practice specifically recharged the participants.
Subtheme: What is a ‘full cup’?
Participants experienced varying states and emotions when their ‘cup’ was filled.
Component 1: grounded and calm amidst chaos
Overwhelmingly, participants with a faith-based or spiritual practice felt calm, reassured, and certain that “things …will be ok” (participant 1), grounded versus “unrooted” (participant 4), “sheltered” (participant 10), and centred and equanimous (participant 11). Participant 1 recounted that her practice intensified while stationed in the field to achieve a sense of calm and “stability” in direct relation to the increasing chaos around her.
“Something that you do regularly adds balance to your life and as an aid worker there is not a lot of balance and there is not a lot of consistency… so … just the daily practice of being faithful brings some order to the chaos … (laughs) that is our lives” (participant 6)
Confronted with suddenly losing her job, one participant noted:
“When you’re in the humanitarian world, if you lose your job, you lose everything, you lose your house, … health insurance, … income, you lose your country because you’re in that country for your job… you lose everything basically and… if I did not have faith, I would not be able to explain that,…but instead I had a really positive attitude” (participant 4)
Component 2: resilience
Participants’ practices fed their resilience and ability to withstand (e.g. secondary trauma) (participants 11 and 14) or “bounce back” (participants 6). Faith “forces you to look around for that goodness…. When I was in a place where we saw so much darkness I really felt a lot of light” (participant 14). After “spending some time with God”, participant 2 remained persistent and refused “giving up”, while participants 3 and 7 noted that their “connection to God” kept them going and continue in aid work. It “made me stronger and more able to deal with the refugee stories that we’d hear every day” (participant 7).
Component 3: “I am more present”
The practice across different faith traditions, while acknowledging the temporary nature of this world, also enhanced the ability to deal with death, grief, and stories of violence and sexual assaults (participants 8, 9, 10, and 11). Recounting the strength of raped Congolese survivors, participant 7 remained hopeful despite such hardship: “God is still with us, and listening and answering… That presence is the promise”. Participants felt that their practices enabled them to listen better and be “more present with the people I was interviewing in the camps” (participant 11), to be a “balm to the wound” (participant 7) and be able to “walk with people as they were suffering” (participant 3). Without her spiritual practice, participant 1 notes “I wouldn’t have found my job as fulfilling. I wouldn’t have been as good with refugees…and able to give them the time that they needed”.
Component 4: “Give it to God” and non-attachment
Participants felt their balance was restored when they practiced in moments when they did not have control over their environment (participant 1). They conceded that “God is in control” (participant 7), and they are “powerless in the scheme of the Universe and … release it to a Higher Power” (participant 13). Participant 11 experienced rest in a place of “complete acceptance whether it is joy or suffering”. Knowing that they were not in charge of events that were beyond any human control provided a certain relief.
“Knowing my limitations … was like a moment of humility … because … often we want to fix it, …especially as aid workers, … seeing all the suffering, … I just have to be able to say I can’t do anything more … In those moments, I have to trust God” (participant 3)
Participant 10 and others noted: “I could die anywhere when my time’s up”, and therefore felt non-attached and safe, including in challenging security contexts.
Subtheme: How is the cup filled? Values and needs
This subtheme expressed the particular mechanisms which are specific to participants’ faith-based and spiritual approach and which caused the ‘refill’ to enable them to better cope.
Component 1: identity and belonging
Many participants’ identity was strengthened by their faith and their spiritual practices—they were able to rely on a sense of self beyond their identity as aid worker or colleague, so that when they felt isolated, overwhelmed or ineffective as aid workers, their psychological balance was less affected. Participants felt strongly about this sense of self which carried them beyond the destruction and temporary nature of the aid context. They had their own “sense of person in the midst of this chaos” (participant 5). Participant 6 noted that if she did not know her “place in the world, I… am quite sure that I would still be in a very difficult recovery time even… now, nearly two years after I left that situation”. Participant 3 felt that her resilience would be stronger if she were truer to her faith-based identity and if she were “actually ‘being out’ with my spirituality”. While their practices gave participants a stronger sense of identity, it also gave a sense of “positive energy, you connect with that, …that is much bigger than who you are, that …defines you as a person” (participant 8) and thus also helped them feel a sense of belonging to something bigger.
Component 2: space for self-care—physical, mental, emotional
In their work context, space was not always available, be it physical space, such as living quarters and choice of housemates (participants 12 and 14), or space to process the demands, dangers and impact and to acknowledge the related emotions:
“I can deal with humanitarian response stuff but I can’t deal with having feelings and emotions at the same time. You have to sort of… shut down… You have to shut that bit down really, to be able to deal with it” (participant 5).
A faith-based or spiritual practice supported and facilitated the creation of metaphorical space for self-care on the physical, mental, and emotional levels. Participant 11 experienced her meditation practice as a life-guard for her physical health as it “prevented further damage that may never have been able to be repaired”, and participant 1 “would have continued to engage in things that were more self-destructive than helpful to me” without her yoga practice. Participant 4 admitted she “would have drank a lot more, I would have smoked a lot more” without her faith, while participant 3 felt her centering prayer practice made her “just able to … take steps back…. I’m not so in it and emotionally … invested”. Pursuing their practices was “carving out that bit of the day for me, but it’s also a way of processing and acknowledging emotions” (participant 5). Her practice gave her “the freedom and the ability… to … observe it neutrally and then, take action” (participant 13).
Component 3: community and belonging: virtual and in the flesh
The experience of community, of not being alone but sharing commonalities with others, of being supported and of belonging were major needs for many aid workers. This was especially important when the usual social network of family and friends was unavailable due to the distance or ‘unrelatability’ of their lives or experiences, and participants could not “talk to them about my struggles in the field” (participant 4). People were seeking community, “I needed to be in mixed company, I needed to be drinking, I needed to be laughing… that’s how I dealt with that situation” (participant 8). While adverse coping mechanisms such as the overconsumption of alcohol was a tool of bonding and “this big thing that we had in common” (participant 11), some participants felt excluded: “So if I didn't want to get shitfaced it was like ‘oh, she's more (local)’ or …, ‘she's Asian and therefore not one of us’” (participant 10).
A faith-based and spiritual practice fulfilled this need of community in other forms. First, some participants felt they had a “very personal relationship with whatever…you call…the Higher Power” (participant 8) or a “relationship with God,…being connected to God” (participant 2). In such, they were “having Someone to rely on” (participant 4). Then, participants fulfilled this need for community by joining or creating spiritual or prayer groups in their field duty stations (participants 6 and 12). An alternative to in-person community participation included virtual/distance prayer groups (participants 3 and 6) or online meditation communities: “We would practice meditation on Skype and they became my community” (participant 11) and thus participants’ practices effectively helped create their own faith-based or spiritual social support systems and community.
Component 4: connection across boundaries
In line with the felt sense of community was the connection across the experienced divide between nationals and internationals, staff and other, and across faith boundaries. “So you all have your own take on it and you all come from very different backgrounds …, all of that can be hard but if you have something in common it helps bring it together” (participant 14). A faith-based or spiritual approach and identity created an environment where national and international aid workers of different spiritual practices, beliefs, languages, and cultures could connect and discuss (participant 8). This felt connection enabled a Christian international aid worker to respond to a Muslim national aid worker to “just pray and Allah will give you a dream” and to “have those conversations about faith” (participant 5).
Most participants felt being more accepted, integrated, and respected by national colleagues for having a faith-based or spiritual practice than by international colleagues: “They were delighted that I had a faith” (participant 5), “they saw it very highly … because all of them … value their faith and see it as an essential part of their life and identity and so seeing me as a Westerner who actually had faith meant a lot to them” (participant 4). Participants felt connected through their shared humanity (participants 3 and 8).
“Like, we’re not different, we’re really not. We’re the same seed in different soil and we’ve had different inputs from our cultures… but in our experiences and things like that, there’s something…in all of us humans that I wanted to understand more of, because of my faith” (participant 7)
Theme—Secondary outcome: when the cup has a crack
This theme covers potentially adverse consequences of a faith-based and spiritual practice.
Subtheme: Can you ever do enough for God?
A related aspect to the subtheme of motivation which increased the burden on faithful or spiritually minded aid workers was the question if you can ever “do enough for God” (participant 5). There might also be an additional burden of “representing a good, religious person ... with a responsibility for my faith” (participant 9). Participant 3 conceded “that connection with God… drove me to … probably push myself when I needed to maybe step back and take some time … to work out whatever I was feeling”. This aspect demonstrated that some parts of a faith-based or spiritual approach might increase the chance of burnout, rather than relieving it and ‘filling your cup’. In line with their motivation and the culture of aid, “often …we expend ourselves” (participant 3) and “often …we do get burnt out…we start thinking things are not going to work without us” (participant 12).
Subtheme: You need a crutch?!
Many participants noted that the international aid environment was less welcoming to expressions of faith-based or spiritual practices (participant 4). Participant 1 experienced lack of acknowledgment of the value and benefits of a spiritual practice: “It’s kind of like ‘Science vs. Spirituality’” and participant 13 experienced attitudes in the West as “sneery about the positive …effects”. Participant 7 noticed a “general sense of ambivalence or apathy towards” her faith and some even felt ridiculed:
“none of my colleagues were faith-based people… or had any faith, … and so… it was something like, ‘oh, did you not study in school that there is no God?’, … basically saying that even though … I have the same credentials as them, I have my Master’s degree, I’m educated and … there is no difference in terms of that … but they just saw it (as) kind of dumb … or childish or immature or … I have to rely on a ‘crutch’ … for dealing with things” (participant 4)
Regarding not engaging in adverse common coping mechanisms to “let off steam” (participant 6), some also feared judgment and felt that they did not “want to be judged for my faith, saying … I don’t want to do this for this and this reason, so that’s a challenge” (participant 4).